How to Let Go of All-or-Nothing Thinking with Eating for PCOS
There is so much information out there about nutrition for PCOS and it can feel like you have to follow nutrition guidelines perfectly or else you’ve failed at managing your health. It doesn’t have to be this way; nutrition is nuanced and finding a rhythm that works for you is better for your PCOS than stressing about making it perfect.
In this blog post, we’ll walk through a few tips to help you start letting go of all-or-nothing thinking and start managing your PCOS in a way that is in alignment with your needs. First, let’s start with defining all-or-nothing thinking.
What is All-or-Nothing Thinking?
All-or-nothing thinking, also known as black-and-white thinking, is a way of viewing information from the world in extremes with no middle ground. It can sound like “if I can't do it perfectly, it's not worth doing,” or “I got uncomfortably full on dessert today, so I've ruined my progress.”
There are so many renditions of what all-or-nothing thinking can look like and I’d encourage you to see if you can notice when your thoughts are trending that way. This way of thinking feels like a very matter of fact way of describing the discomfort in doing something that might not be completely in line with what you have deemed to be right for yourself. It is an easy label on a complex situation that leads to burnout, guilt, and constantly starting over. There’s little room for flexibility which is necessary to make sustainable changes and growth.
So, let's get into it!
How PCOS Fuels Perfectionism
When you’re living with PCOS, it can feel like your body is working against you. Symptoms like fatigue, weight changes, irregular cycles, hair growth, and acne can leave you feeling frustrated and out of control. That’s where the urge for perfectionism sneaks in. You might find yourself thinking, “If I just eat perfectly and follow the right plan, I can fix this.” This mindset is totally understandable, especially when there is so much information in the media that offers quick fixes and extreme solutions.
Perfectionism sets you up with unrealistic expectations, rooted in rigid routines, restrictive eating, and intense workouts that are hard to sustain. You are expected to manage all of that perfectly while also living your real life. Life will always get in the way and this is where it can feel like you’ve failed. That is the all-or-nothing thinking coming in. PCOS doesn’t need a perfect plan or routine, it needs consistency, flexibility, and compassion. I like to call this part “getting into the gray.” This is how I would reconsider all-or-nothing thoughts to invite more flexibility:
“If I can’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth doing” → “I’m navigating a condition that is complex, it doesn’t have to be perfect; even just the first step is one step towards supporting my PCOS”
“I got uncomfortably full on dessert today, so I've ruined my progress.” → “I just enjoyed some really yummy food and I’m feeling uncomfortable right now, but this feeling will pass and I can still support myself and my health today”
Three things to remember when reframing your all-or-nothing thoughts:
Name the thought
This can be as silly as saying “hi thought,” or just noticing the all-or-nothing pattern. Notice how this thought feels in your body. Is it creating anxiety or panic? Are you feeling a physical sensation like chest tightness or increased heart rate? It’s helpful to just be curious about how your body is experiencing this thought. It can also be helpful to ask where the thought is coming from and why it feels so urgent right now.
Shift the language to something more flexible
Take a deep breath and see if there is a more neutral way to reframe your thought. Your body is resilient and way more complex than you can imagine. It can handle the imperfections and adjustments it takes to find your own rhythm in navigating your nutrition and PCOS.
Focus on your values, not the specific outcome
Everyone’s experience is individual. It can be helpful to have the media to share tips and info that may have helped for others. It can also be really harmful to have access to all of that information because a lot of it isn’t even accurate and may not be right for you. It’s important to look inward and find what feels right for you along with evidence based nutrition practice.
Self-Compassion and Emotional Resilience
This one might not feel super nutrition related, but it's an important one. PCOS can be frustrating, exhausting, and isolating. In addition to managing symptoms, you’re also navigating real life at the same time. Practicing self-compassion with your nutrition management gives you the space to experiment and work on your PCOS without the pressure to fix it perfectly, right away.
Self-compassion means speaking to yourself like you would a close friend. It’s acknowledging your effort, even when the outcome isn’t perfect. It’s reminding yourself that setbacks don’t mean failure, it means you are doing the work.
The more self-compassion you have for yourself, the more emotional resilience you build. Emotional resilience is the ability to navigate the highs and the lows of nutrition management for PCOS.
A lot of my PCOS clients focus on self care activities like playing their favorite playlist while cooking dinner, journaling, or prioritizing their skincare routine. It's an essential piece to add to the puzzle of PCOS to feel grounded in your efforts.
Final Thoughts
Letting go of all-or-nothing thinking isn’t about lowering your standards, it’s about making space for the real life rhythms of managing PCOS. Your body makes the most progress when it has consistency, flexibility, and compassion. When you choose flexibility over rigidity, kindness over criticism, you’re creating a more sustainable path forward. This isn’t about doing it all, it’s about doing what actually works for you. You are allowed to take it one step at a time. That’s how I encourage my clients to do it anyway!
If you’re ready to explore a more individualized, flexible approach to managing PCOS, working with a dietitian can be a powerful next step. Together we can find that rhythm that supports your health without the pressure of perfection. Book with one of our awesome PCOS dietitians here at Feed Your Zest if you’re curious about what that could look like for you!